


twenty seconds or twenty years

by fantasmefantastic



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Drabble Collection, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Mutual Pining, Pining, Showverse, Smut, Suggestive smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2020-10-18 21:25:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20645900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fantasmefantastic/pseuds/fantasmefantastic
Summary: A drabble collection of Zutara one shots. Each chapter is based off of a song from Taylor Swift's album, Lover. Some will be AU, some will be showverse. Some will be smutty, others will be fluffy, and some might even be angsty. Who knows?iii. LOVER - Zuko tries to put into words his feelings for Katara. Hopefully, she's better at this than he is.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **author's note**: FRIENDS! this is VERY EXCITING because this is my first ever Zutara fic!! I have been madly in love with this OTP since oh idk I'LL SAVE YOU FROM THE PIRATES original air date but whatevs i'm not bitter!!!
> 
> this chapter is college!au. i'm randomly making Katara, Suki, and Toph all the same age to be attending college at the same time. I tried to stay true to their age differences, but it confused me too much, so *waves magic fanfic wand* they’re all the same age now, ta da! Also i am very aware that the way this story pans out does not exactly match the intention of the song but again i say *waves magic fanfic wand*
> 
> I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender, or _Lover_, by Taylor Swift, the Queen of Everything that is Pure and Good in this World.

“So yeah, I am so totally over him!” Katara chirped, then immediately flinched. Toph raised her eyebrows, and Suki made a face like something smelled bad. Katara knew what those expressions meant on each of her best friend’s faces. Those were their Judgy Faces. 

“Like, oh my gosh, are you so totally over him?” Toph said, mimicking a high-pitched, girly voice and even throwing in a fake hair whip. 

“All _right_,” Katara groaned. “I didn’t mean for it to come out like that—,”

“You didn’t mean for it to sound fake, when we all know you’re faking it,” Toph interrupted, returning to her usual growl of a voice.

“Toph,” Suki said, in a gentle tone. “Go easy on Katara. Let her live in her world of denial.”

“Suki!” Katara shrieked. “That’s not actually helpful!” 

Their current topic of conversation was the infamous Zuko, Katara’s brother’s best friend. She had spent most of her life tagging along after Sokka and Zuko, and somewhere around thirteen, Katara had developed a massive, insane crush on her brother’s hot best friend. She’d nursed that crush all through high school; everything about Zuko had been perfect to her. Not only was he tall and handsome and mysterious — Zuko had always been kind and attentive to his best friend’s little sister. Katara could still remember how they made each other laugh well into the night, whenever Sokka would fall asleep early during movie nights. Zuko had told her all about leaving his father’s house to come live with his uncle; Katara had shared how it felt to be a little girl without a mother. 

They’d been friends; real friends. 

Ugh, she’d also been insanely in love with him.

So, brilliant as Katara was, deciding she could no longer live in this limbo, in this _what if he likes me, what if he doesn’t,_ constantly wondering if he was looking at her the way she looked at him— 

She had confessed her feelings the night before she left for her college, after taking her very first shot of tequila and quite a few beers. (Another brilliant idea by Sokka). 

_Zuko, I like you so much as more than friend, you’re always on my mind you’re just there all the time, and you’re one of my best friends, I just, I’d do anything for you and I really think we could be something amazing_ — she cringed to the day when she thought of how stupid she had sounded. 

And all Zuko had said was ???

At least, that’s how Katara imagined it in her mind. When she realized she had blurted everything out and Zuko hadn’t immediately declared his love for her, she’d fled. 

When Katara first arrived at Ba Sing Se College and met Suki and Toph, the crush, the humiliation, the love, the hate...it hadn’t exactly gone away. As girls do, Katara had shared with Suki and Toph the Story of Zuko. There had been more than a few nights of stalking Zuko’s social media profiles while tipsy on wine coolers. Suki had been sympathetic, and even Toph knew what unrequited love felt like, so they’d talked her through it. (Although that didn’t stop them from teasing her.) There’s been many declarations of _I hate him!_ and _I think I love him_ and _Why doesn’t he like me back?_ and _The least he could do is say something! The nerve!_

But now, Katara felt that her semester at college had cooled her feelings; she was mature and grown. She didn’t have time for school girl crushes, not with her workload. And there had been boys! One semester down and she’d already briefly dated the campus resident bad boy, Jet, and even snuck a few make out sessions with Haru, from her Political Science class. 

Then, of course, she’d gone home for winter break. And Zuko had been there, because why wouldn’t he be? He still lived with his uncle in between his college semesters, despite running off to Fire Fountain University (which hello was closer to his father, could his daddy issues be anymore obvious?). Katara had refused to allow herself to acknowledge the way seeing him made her feel that first night. They hadn’t spoken, had barely looked at each other, and then Katara managed to avoid seeing him again for those three weeks. 

So now, here she was, starting her second semester of college. She and Suki had met up with Toph at the campus cafe for lunch; Toph preferred it to the mayhem of the dining hall. Naturally, as soon as the three of them were reunited, the first question out of Suki’s mouth was _Soooo, did you see Sifu Hotman at all??_ (Katara still cursed that nickname. During one of the social media stalks, they’d come across a video of a shirtless Zuko practicing his Shaolin kung fu. Suki had a talent for stupid ass nicknames when she was drunk.) And, naturally, Katara told them that yes, she had seen Zuko once and no, it wasn’t this tragic, beautiful reunion — they barely spoke, she avoided him the rest of her break — she was so totally over him!

Katara loved her two best friends; she really did. She also kind of hated them. 

“Guys,” she said, despairingly, “I’m over him, I really am!” Suki and Toph continued to make Judgy Faces; they even dared to exchange Looks. “Seriously,” Katara insisted. “I feel like I had forgotten he existed, until I went home and, yeah, he was there, and that was, you know, startling. I thought it would kill me, but it didn’t. I just saw him the one time, and yeah, it was awkward and whatever, but then I mostly hung out with Sokka! It was just, like, this peaceful and quiet experience and I just — I just forgot that Zuko even existed! It isn’t love, it isn’t hate, it’s just...indifference. So, yeah —,”

“Katara?”

Everything in the world stopped. No, everything in the universe. No, the multiverse. (Yes, Sokka made her watch Spiderman, why do you ask??)

“Zuko?” Katara squeaked.

Because yes, that was Zuko standing there. Right there. In her cafe. On her college campus. AND HAD HE JUST OVERHEARD EVERYTHING SHE HAD SAID?! 

“Sifu Hotman?” Toph demanded, and Katara resisted the urge to murder her best friend/scream/tear her own hair out. Suki made a strangled sound, like she wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry, and grabbed Toph’s hand.

“Right, yes, we are just going to go over here to this table in the corner where we will most definitely not be able to eavesdrop!” Suki said, and Katara thought there must have been the sound of scraping chairs, or Toph muttering an argument, but she couldn’t hear anything, couldn’t see anything, other than Zuko, standing there. 

“Hey Katara,” Zuko said, taking a cautious step forward. He’d been on the receiving end of her temper throughout their childhood, and knew to take care. 

“What are you doing here?” Katara demanded, feeling her cheeks grow hot. 

Zuko shrugged, “I, uh...go here now. I transferred.”

“_Excusemewhat_,” Katara sputtered. __

_ _Zuko made a face. “Well, you’d know that if had actually talked to me at all over winter break.”_ _

_ _Katara flared up at once. “Are you serious right now— ,”_ _

_ _“Don’t act like you didn’t ignore me and avoid me the whole time, Katara,” Zuko interrupted. Ugh, she had forgotten how annoying he was, how easily he could get under her skin. “What was it you just said? It’s just indifference. Really? We’ve been friends for years and you claim you have feelings more, then you run off to college, don’t talk to me at all for months, and now it’s indifference—?” _ _

_ _“You didn’t say anything!” Katara exploded. “I poured my heart out to you and you didn’t say anything, Zuko! I would have understood if you didn’t feel the same, or if you wanted to stay friends—but you can’t get mad at me for not talking to you, when you didn’t talk to me, either!”_ _

_ _As usual, Zuko’s temper burned out as quickly as it had come. He had a short fuse, but it rarely lasted. He looked tired all of a sudden and, for the first time, Katara noticed signs of strain: the bags under his eyes, the gauntness in his cheeks. Zuko sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair, which was longer than Katara had ever seen it. _ _

_ _“Look,” he said. “I was just startled, okay? You threw a lot of information at me that night! We had all been drinking and you just spilled everything and I...I’m slow! I need time to process things, you know that. And I was about to go back to school, be near my father again, and I was already thinking about transferring, I had a lot going on—,”_ _

_ _“Hmm, no,” Katara interrupted. Zuko’s temper might go quickly, but Katara knew how to hold a grudge. It was a family trait, Gran-Gran would say. “Really, Zuko? You’re going with the I’m a basic white dud who can’t handle my emotions so I avoid them excuse? You’re not some broken shell of a person because of how your dad treated you. You don’t get to pull that bullshit, not with me.”_ _

_ _There was the sound of snapping fingers and then, “You tell him, Sugar Queen!”_ _

_ _“Toph, shut up!”_ _

_ _Katara couldn’t help it; she cracked a small smile. Toph had certainly taught her how to stand up for herself, and not accept excuses for being treated badly. Katara watched Zuko as he ran another agitated hand through his hair. Despite her harsh words and aggressive stance, Katara’s heart ached. He meant so much to her, this broken boy. And she knew in her heart, that no matter what happened now, or tomorrow, or the next day...Katara knew that Zuko would always be a part of her._ _

_ __It’s just indifference. Sure, Katara,_ she thought to herself. _Like you’ve ever been indifferent to anything in your life, ever._ _ _

__

__

_ _“I’m sorry, Katara,” Zuko said. God, the way he said her name. “You’re right,” Zuko continued, and Katara liked the sound of that almost as much as when he said her name. He took yet another deep breath, but this time he did not run a hand through his hair. Instead, Zuko moved closer to her and held out his hands, palms up, reaching out as if he were about to touch something as delicate as glass. “I’m sorry,” he said again, and Katara put her hands into his. “I’ll be better,” Zuko said, “if you’ll give me the chance.”_ _

_ _“Better at what?” Katara asked, softly, not daring to hope._ _

_ _“Better at being the right man for you,” Zuko whispered. Katara made a noise, somewhere between a squeak and the start of a long rambling speech, but Zuko touched a finger to her lips to silence her. _ _

_ _She hadn’t been this close to him in so long. He still smelled vaguely of woodsmoke and tea leaves, a side effect of always working in his uncle’s tea shop. His eyes were still the precise shade of gold she dreamed about, like gemstones born out of fire. And while he was thinner than she remembered, he was still broad shouldered and strong, capable of wrapping her up in his arms. The scar on his eye did nothing to diminish his handsomeness, Katara barely noticed it— it was as much a part of Zuko as his eye color, his bad jokes, his ferocious protectiveness of his friends and family. _ _

_ _He was just Zuko, her Zuko._ _

_ _Zuko leaned slightly forward, pressing his forehead against hers. _ _

_ _“Katara,” he said, huskily. “I’ve been trying to come up with the words to say this. And it’s going to be a long rambling mess, but please, just...just let me get this out.”_ _

_ _Katara couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. There was only this: Zuko, holding her hand, Zuko’s golden eyes cast down, unable to look at her, Zuko’s deep breath before he spoke._ _

_ _“I always thought that I wasn’t worth anything because of my father,” he said. “I had this image in my mind that I couldn’t be anything without his approval. And then I spent last year at Fire Fountain University being unhappy, feeling unfulfilled and...empty. I was so happy to be home over the summer with Uncle Iroh and the tea shop and Sokka...and you. So when you told me how you’d felt, I didn’t know how to react. I didn’t know how to believe that someone as wonderful as you would want someone like me. And I kept coming up with all of these reasons to stick it out at FFU, not to transfer, not to come home, not to be with you...when I realized I’d been doing that the entire time I’ve known you. God, Katara...of course I love you. I’ve been in love with you for as long as I’ve known you, I’ve just been too stupid, too insecure, too scared to realize it. Of course I love you — you’re my home.”_ _

_ _Zuko looked up. _ _

_ _“So, if you...if you still feel the same way as you did,” he stammered, like an engine suddenly losing its steam. “I’d really like to...I— I mean it would be really...nice...if we could — if you’d want to, uh…” He looked at Katara meaningfully, but she was not about to let him get off that easily. So she just looked back at him, blinking her sapphire eyes as widely and innocently as possible. Zuko looked faintly amused and mildly sick at the same time. _ _

_ _“Katara,” he said, in a suddenly firm voice. “Could I take you out on a date? Maybe dinner tomorrow night?”_ _

_ _A feeling of such profound happiness filled Katara up and any semblance of dignity or maintaining aloofness or pretending to think about it disintegrated when she threw herself into his arms and kissed him properly for the first time._ _

_ _It was the first of many to come._ _


	2. Cruel Summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A drabble collection of Zutara one shots. Each chapter is based off of a song from Taylor Swift's album, Lover. Some will be AU, some will be showverse. Some will be smutty, others will be fluffy, and some might even be angsty. Who knows?
> 
> ii. CRUEL SUMMER - Katara has been through a lot in her life. You know, the tragic death of her mother at a young age, the fate of the world on her shoulders after discovering the Avatar and deciding to help him. Constantly running from enemy soldiers and crazy lightning benders and fighting in wars. But nothing quite compares to the cruel summer spent on Ember Island, watching a certain scarred Fire Nation prince.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **author's note**: Ok! We’re back in the show-verse now people, except of course this a slightly alternate universe where the woRLD IS RIGHT AND ZUTARA LIVES. again, this is my first attempt at Zutara and i tried to make it smutty which i have no problem writing (cough have you read here in your arms yet cough) but i felt kind of weird going into all the smutty details about a 14 yr old soooo i kind of skimmed over that a bit. hopefully it's implied enough O:)

_“Katara,” Zuko whispered, his voice, already rough, sounding throatier than ever. “We should stop.”_

_“Why?” Katara asked, not even caring if she sounded whiny. They were entangled in each other; arms crossed across stomachs, initial layers of clothing discarded. His skin was so, so warm against hers; his heartbeat was rapid fire beneath her fingertips. _

_“B-because,” Zuko stammered, as her lips skated against his neck. “You...you’ve been through a lot. And you’re...you’re upset. I don’t want to —,”_

_“Zuko,” Katara interrupted. She eased back so she could look him directly in the eye. “I want to do this.”_

_“Are you sure?” Zuko asked, immediately. “Katara, your first time should be special in a nice place and this...this is—,”_

_She interrupted him again by kissing him. God, how had she not kissed him sooner? Why hadn’t she just kissed him in that cave, back then, like she wanted to? How had they not spent every possible moment kissing every night at the Western Air Temple? At camp? She really could not get enough of Zuko’s lips._

_“Katara—,”_

_“Zuko,” she said. “I have never wanted something as much as I want this. Right now. With you. If you don’t want to with me then that’s okay, but—,”_

_Zuko made a sound like she’d punched him. “I have wanted to do this with you for a long time, Katara. I just wanted our first time to be somewhere special and warm and soft and…”_

_“There must just be something about you in caves,” Katara teased, for that was where they had made camp to wait out the storm. “Now, kiss me. Please.”_  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Katara couldn’t quite define it, but she felt that her world had shifted somehow. Like it hadn’t already been crazy enough — finding the Avatar, mastering waterbending, traveling the world, fighting pirates and Fire Nation soldiers alike, on the verge of facing down the Fire Lord himself — none of that seemed to compare to this cruel summer on Ember Island with Zuko close enough to touch, but always just out of reach. 

She supposed it could have something to do with recently facing down the man who had killed her mother. Finally confronting the thing of her nightmares, of her childhood trauma, had done something to her, Katara decided, thinking back to a quiet night and a fever dream. 

They had left Yan Rha sniveling in the rain, and Katara had managed to walk away from her enemy straight-backed. But as soon as they made it back to Appa, Katara had staggered to her knees, not knowing what to do with all of this. That was when Zuko had taken her into his arms. 

_Shh, Katara, shh,_ he’d whispered, running his slim, pale fingers through her hair as she sobbed into his arms. At the time, she wasn’t sure what had surprised her most: Zuko’s gentleness or how easy it was to turn to him for comfort. She should have turned to Sokka or Aang to fall apart, Katara remembered thinking. 

But Zuko...Zuko _understood._

In a way that Aang, with his youth and kindness and Air Nomad ways, never could. In a way that Sokka, as her older brother with his own kind of grief to carry, never could. Zuko didn’t have expectations of her, or need her for anything. She was not a little sister, a maternal figure, a caretaker, or a master waterbender, a warrior, a girl whose destiny it was to help save the world — 

In Zuko’s arms, she was just Katara. And that was somehow all of those things and none of them at the same time. And Katara, in her heightened emotional state, filled with all of those things that she could not say, had never been able to say…

Well, she had kissed him.

And Zuko had kissed her back.

A lot.

Looking back, Katara thought the _please_ probably did Zuko in. After that, he had stopped interrupting. Well, that wasn’t strictly true. He’d asked her if she was sure one more time, when they were completely naked and he was leaning over her, every inch of his body pressed against hers. He had asked her if she was okay when she cried out in pain, and again afterwards, when  
Katara rested her head against his chest, his fingers moving through her hair.

She had never felt more okay in her entire life than that moment, in that cave, in Zuko’s arms.

But then, the sun had come up, and they’d gotten back on Appa, and returned to camp. 

_We can’t do that again,_ Katara had said. _We’ll just screw it up._

_I know,_ Zuko had replied. _These are...trying times._

Life had resumed its normal routine (you know, running from Azula, fighting and bending, living off scraps, the usual) but with one difference: Katara could not keep her eyes off of Zuko.

And it seemed to be just as bad for him. They would watch each other across camp, catching sideways glances and looking over shoulders. Desperately trying not to be too obvious, but Katara was all too aware of just how much Toph sensed with her feet. Katara found herself consumed with jealousy when Sokka and Suki got to just casually be together; it was a universal agreement that no one comment on certain noises heard in the middle of the night.

God, she wanted to do it again. So badly. With Zuko. Immediately. It was impossible to think of anything else, especially when he would firebend shirtless, practicing his steps in the courtyard. When they wound up on Ember Island, hiding out in the Fire Lord’s old summer home, Katara often found herself watching his and Aang’s sessions. It was a fragile, breakable sort of heaven, when she would go to sleep at night, knowing Zuko’s room was just down the hall. 

This summer was starting to feel like a knife in Katara’s soul. 

“Sugar Queen!” Toph shouted. “Stop pacing around! You’re giving my feet a damn headache.”

“Toph, I don’t even have time to unpack how wrong that is,” Sokka drawled.

“Yeah, wouldn’t it be a feet-ache?” Aang said, and, as usual, only him and Sokka laughed at his dumb joke. 

“Ugh, whatever. You know what I mean,” Toph complained. She tilted slightly and pointed a finger straight at Katara’s nose. That had stopped being unnerving months ago. “Just stop moving so much! You’re driving me crazy with how restless you are. Go do something!”

“Like what?” Katara demanded. 

“I don’t know! Clean! Make dinner!”

“I’m not a housewife, Toph!” Katara snarled. She was itching for a fight, and Toph usually delivered.

“Well go do whatever it is that sugar queens do when they’re as amped as you are,” Toph grumbled, folding her arms. “I’m taking Aang into the jungle to practice Earthbending, he hasn’t had a session since Sparky over there joined up.”

Aang protested this loudly, just as Zuko made a galvanized noise. “Sparky?” the Fire Nation prince demanded. 

“Don’t even bother arguing with Toph about nicknames,” Suki advised. 

“Suki and I were going to head into town, do you want to come with us, Katara?” Sokka asked, as Toph grabbed Aang’s arm and hauled him out of the house. Momo squawked a few times then flew after them; outside, Appa made a gurgling sound that usually suggested he was fast asleep.

“No, that’s okay,” Katara said to Sokka, thinking she’d rather stick pins in her eyes than third-wheel with him and his girlfriend. They were good together, and she loved Suki, but there was only so much a little sister could handle. The four of them collected the rest of the breakfast dishes and Katara made sure to tell Suki what they needed from the market and then, before she knew it, she was alone.

In the house.

With Zuko.

Katara’s eyes moved from them, to Zuko, who was standing in the kitchen looking as paralyzed as she felt. 

“Hey,” she said, a little desperately. “Want to spar?”

Zuko looked relieved. “Yes,” he said, quickly.

It would be a good distraction.

A good use of energy.

Totally innocent. 

A little while later, after they had found a private, protected spot on the beach (Zuko had insisted, just in case someone spotted Katara waterbending) they were sparring like Katara had never sparred before. She threw everything she possibly could into every movement. With Aang, she always had to hold back, observe for teaching opportunities, and with Toph, it was about learning offensive maneuvers, or it was rage-filled and sloopy.

But with Zuko, sparring felt like dancing.

They moved as one; his fire exploded where her foot had been. They threw physical punches and kicks in as well, movements that Suki had started teaching the team, just in case Ty Lee came at them. Katara twisted, and a tidal wave burst on the edge of his vision. Zuko dodged, but only barely, and then their lines of red and blue were ricocheting around each other, like some kind of cosmic light show. Katara ducked Zuko’s flame; she came up hard with a wave of her own, when suddenly, everything stopped. They were deadlocked; Katara held his wrist in her left hand; Zuko had caught her right hand in his own. Zuko’s chest was heaving with effort so much that she could see the muscles contracting beneath the skin. Katara could feel sweat pooling between her breasts; even in just her wraps and surrounded by the ocean water, she felt hot.

Zuko’s golden eyes caught her own and, for a brief moment, he grinned like a devil.

And suddenly, they were kissing as fiercely as the tide crashed against the sand. Zuko’s hands were in her hair, her lips were on his mouth, and they were collapsing onto the beach, two souls immersed in desire. 

“Zuko,” Katara panted, as his fingers traced lines of fire down her stomach.

“Katara, Katara, Katara,” Zuko breathed, as her legs twined around her waist.  
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Do you think it’s weird?” Sokka asked, some days later. He and Suki were on their way to town again to pick up a few things. Market runs usually fell on them for chores, since they liked to combine errands with dates. It was hard to have a young budding romance amongst the whole gang, Sokka often found himself bemoaning. 

“What’s weird?” Suki asked.

“How much Zuko and Katara have been sparring lately?”


	3. Lover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A drabble collection of Zutara one shots. Each chapter is based off of a song from Taylor Swift's album, Lover. Some will be AU, some will be showverse. Some will be smutty, others will be fluffy, and some might even be angsty. Who knows?
> 
> iii. LOVER - Zuko tries to put into words his feelings for Katara. Hopefully, she's better at this than he is.

Zuko was restless. He supposed that was fair, given the whirlwind of emotions he had experienced the past few hours. Aang disappearing, (_What do we do, Zuko?_), finding June (_She's not my girlfriend!)_, tracking down his uncle (_He'll forgive you Zuko, I know he will). _Being forgiven by Uncle Iroh had certainly spent most of his emotional capacity for the day, but the thought of a certain blue-eyed waterbender always managed to dredge up more feelings in him than he cared to admit. Zuko looked blankly down at the book in his hands, an old text about the White Lotus. He'd been reading it for hours, but a single word had not penetrated his mind. 

Zuko thought about what he wanted. To finally face off against Azula, for the last time, with Katara by his side. To see Aang return and take back this world from this father. To see Sokka, Suki, and Toph return from a triumphant take over of the airships. For his uncle and the rest of the White Lotus to reclaim Ba Sing Se for good.

He wanted to win and he didn’t want to die.

Zuko wanted, wanted, _wanted_.

He wanted Katara. 

These days, he felt a little drunk around Katara (limited experience that he had with the sensation). But he assumed that the dazzling haze, the mysterious way about her was all his own perception, brought on by the way his heart thudded in his chest whenever Katara was near. That had to be the effect that alcohol had on people, right? He recalled Sokka telling him about his brief interaction with a mushroom and wondered if that compared to how Sokka felt about Suki. Could that compare to the way he felt about Katara?

Zuko's only understanding of _feelings_ and _relationships_ was the brief burst of light he’d had with Mai — and look how well that had turned out. Mai had been simple and easy, an option because of her proximity and her willingness. Zuko was not proud of how he had handled his relationship with Mai. He had sworn of women until after the Firelord was defeated.

Something about Katara seemed to mess with that self promise. When he had asked her to face Azula by his side, she had not hesitated. In that split second, when he had looked to her for her help, he tried to tell himself it was because she was a fierce warrior (true), a talented healer (also true). They worked well together and fought well together and it made all the sense in the world.

But the truth, which was much simpler, was this: he wanted to go wherever Katara went. He just felt lucky that she was willing to go with him this time.

And then, as if his thoughts had materialized into reality, a voice called from outside of his tent, "Zuko?"

He called back, “Katara?”

She must have taken that as an invitation to enter because suddenly, she was there.

Zuko’s breath caught as Katara stepped through the entrance to his tent. It took him a full thirty seconds to actually believe that this was real, that she was her, that he wasn’t asleep and dreaming the sweetest of dreams. Katara hovered just inside the tent, appearing unsure for the first time in Zuko’s memory. He took advantage of her hesitation to drink her in, to memorize every detail of the waterbender. Zuko thought he would always be partial to reds and golds, but he found himself a fan of the color blue when it was laid against her dark skin, or peeking out beneath chocolate-colored hair. The candles he had lit to read by spattered shadows across Katara’s shape, making her appear like a dappled shadow creature out of a fairytale. Her mother’s necklace glittered at her throat, shifting in the light as Katara swallowed. Zuko could scarcely wrap his head around how much had changed in less than a year, in the passing of three seasons. He had found a place where he belonged among the Avatar and his friends, and a large part of that was due to Katara. Once he had earned her trust back, he found himself looking at her, and sometimes she would look back. They would exchange smiles as if they had a private joke the rest of the world could never be in on. The first time that Zuko saved her a seat around the fire, and she actually took it, the scarred Fire Nation Prince began to wonder if this might be what it felt like to have a home filled with friendship… and love.

Zuko had come to the very slow realization that he was madly, deeply in love with the Southern waterbender. The Southern waterbender that stood in front of him now.

“Hey,” he said, softly. “Everything ok?” Katara blinked a few times, as if she were waking up.

“You mean other than the impending fight for humanity as we know it? Yeah, everything’s great.” Zuko laughed. Everyone thought of Sokka as the funny one, but Katara had certainly mastered the art of sarcasm, too. Katara seemed to relax at the sound of his laugh and lowered herself to the floor. Zuko was keenly aware of the minimal space between her knee and his, of how the smell of her skin filled the tent, of how he loved her with every single fiber of his being, from the fire that burned in his veins, to the scar across his face.

He just didn't know how to _say _it.

“How are you?” she asked, in that kindly way of hers.

Zuko shrugged. “Impending doom and all that,” he said, and she laughed again. Mai had laughed at his jokes, and he’d gotten a few zingers on Aang and Sokka, but nothing really compared to the way Katara laughed, with her nose scrunched up and the way the sound seemed to fill the room. It occurred to him that it was a beautiful thing that all of them, so broken by war and loss and grief, could still laugh.

“I wanted to talk to you,” Katara said, after another awkward beat. Zuko, who realized he was still holding his book, quickly shut it and set it aside. He gestured and the candlelight flared up minimally, just enough so that it stopped casting shadows across Katara’s face. He couldn’t focus when she looked at him like that, and hoped the brighter light would help.

(It didn’t. Nothing seemed to dim the blue of her eyes in his tent).

“Battle plans?” Zuko asked, eternally grateful that his voice remained even and steady, despite his suddenly sweaty plans.

“Uhm,” Katara hesitated, “no.” She pulled a section of her hair around to the front of her shoulder and began to braid it, as if she could do something with her hands to distract from her thoughts. “How did the talk with your uncle go?” Zuko cleared his throat and looked away, hoping she would not see the emotion in his eyes.

“You were right,” he said, “he forgave me right away.” Katara made a self important sound and when he looked at her again, she was smirking in a very I told you so sort of way. He imagined that face had probably driven Sokka crazy most of his life. Zuko forced thoughts of Katara’s brother out of his mind as he added, “I’ll try to be worthy of his forgiveness.” After a beat, he added, “And your trust.” The smirk was gone from Katara’s expression immediately. Her cerulean eyes became serious as she looked him over.

“Zuko,” she said gently, “You have already earned those things. And more.”

_And more._

This struck him as an odd thing to say, but it felt as if his brain had jammed. A part of him insisted that he was reading the situation wrong. Another part of him screamed that she had come to his tent. That had to mean something! It meant absolutely nothing. But what did she mean by and more?! NOTHING!

“W-what do you mean?” Zuko croaked, over his internal war. Katara flushed pink in the candlelight.

“I don’t know,” she said. “I guess...I just...um...” Feeling reckless, thinking he might be risking life and limb, as she could easily skewer him with icicles if she wanted to, Zuko reached over and put his hand on top of hers. Her skin was cool beneath is naturally warm touch and it struck him, not for the first time, how very different they were, yet still similar, as balanced and opposed as yin and yang. “I don’t know really know how to say what I want to say,” Katara said, with sudden resolution. She turned her hand beneath his so that their fingers were interlaced. They were suddenly sitting very close to each other, knees overlapped and arms touching. “ I know this, us, being friends and on the same side...I know it’s still new. But it feels so...easy. And this might be our last night on this earth, in this lifetime, and I know there’s a lot going on and a lot of people counting on you and me, and our friends and Aang…”

“Katara?” Zuko croaked, when her voice trailed off. He felt he had no idea what was actually happening, but it had potential to be the best thing in his life.

“But with all of that,” Katara continued, “...all I want to do is spend the night with you.”

Zuko was not a poet. He had never been good with words (see: the time he tried to join the Avatar’s group). Even Katara’s bumbling mess of a maybe confession (it was still a little unclear to him) was better than anything he could come up with. Zuko blamed his firebending nature on the need to do something physical, something _real_, something that he could point to say and say, _There! That’s how I feel!_

So, he kissed her.

And she kissed him back.

* * *

Sometime after (after they had fought Azula and won, after he took a lightning bolt for her, when Aang was off preparing for some-big-Avatar-thing, and Sokka and Suki had returned to the Southern watertribe, Toph went to visit her parents) Katara came into his room. She laid down beside him and he wrapped his arms around her and they kissed and laughed and talked some more.

“What am I to you, Prince Zuko?” she asked in a teasing voice, with a light in her eyes that he had never seen before.

Zuko considered her question. _Girlfriend_ felt like such a blasé term for what the waterbender meant to him. _Kiss_ wasn’t enough to describe the feel of her lips on his. They certainly weren’t _engaged_, and _partners_ spoke to their fighting style, rather than the feelings they shared. He would never be the type to invoke pet names like _baby_ or _sweetheart_ (and he had an inkling that Katara might not tolerate such nonsense).

“You’re my lover,” Zuko said, as if he had known it all along. (In a way, he had). And even the feeling of being crowned Fire Lord could not compare to the way Katara made him feel when she giggled, kissed him again, and began to hum an old Watertribe lullaby.


End file.
